Thursday, September 28th, 2006...5:49 pm
The green eyed monster
Dealing with miscarriage and low sperm count post vasectomy reversal has brought out a new side of me. Up until recently, I was quite happy to listen to other people talk about thier pregnancies, their babies and children, and excited for friends when they told me they were pregnant. Suddenly, I’m finding it difficult to hear thier stories and excitement. I find myself looking for ways to escape the conversation. What’s a polite way to say I don’t want to hear about your kid?
I’m really dreading tomorrow. I’m a parenting instructor (I’ve already been asked how I can teach parenting if I don’t have kids - trust me, it works). So I have to face a room full of parents with babies and toddlers and talk all about their kids. It’s my JOB. Will I be able to separate out my personal feelings? I’m jealous of them, resentful of the parents who accidently got pregnant without even trying, and… I don’t know what - frustrated, angry - less empathic at least - toward the parents who are mandated to be there because of child abuse. These feelings are new to me - hopefully I can put it aside and do my job!
Technorati tag: Vasectomy reversal
2 Comments
August 15th, 2007 at 12:53 pm
Oh, this blog was way too familiar for me. I have friends getting pregnant and friends with small children that I find myself not even wanting to be around. Although I LOVE kids I find myself SO - O - O jealous that I just can’t stand it. Hopefully soon we will find a way to get the money for a reversal. At least then, I can look at it as being in God’s hands! ; )
Melony Dunnivant
August 23rd, 2007 at 5:54 am
I know how you feel, ttc for 3 years with very low sperm count and getting older in the meantime. I feel so bad when I see other couples pregnant or with children and it feels unjust also when so many people have children so easily and have no parenting skills. Peoples intrusive questions about `so when are you two going to have a baby you shouldnt leave it too late` are making me avoid people or dread weddings etc..I guess we have to go through that kind of pain in order to find a way to deal with it rather than ignoring it. The skills you have as a parenting teacher make it tragic that you are having ttc problems but dont forget that they are your important skills and if you can share them with other people who otherwise may not have done such a good job then you are bringing your potential not just to one of your own children but to many and that is even more honourable.
Good Luck with the ttc
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